Rings

So once again I find myself having lunch with some friends. We are hanging out, talking, and having a grand old time. As we are talking, one brings up a wedding she recently attended and out of nowhere my other friend shoots out some remark about cock rings. EXCUSE ME, WHAT?! Now keep in both of these girls were born when I was in kindergarten, so I guess I expect some innocence from them. Realistically this is crap because they are both snarky bitches just like me. I mean, that is what I love about them. So of course I have to get the details, I mean you can't just drop a cock ring into a conversation and leave it there with no details.

Apparently, in preparation for the bachelorette party my one friend was attending prior to the wedding, the two made a trip to a local novelty shop. Now I use novelty shop not to be PC about the whole thing, but because this is a chain shop, that is really on the mild end of the whole sex shop experience. It is kind of like the kiddy pool of sex shops. For instance while in college there was a sex shop in town aptly nick-named the wack-shack because it was a seedy hole in the wall porn shop with a back room kind of a place. The place my friends went is not even close. It is well lit, you aren't running for cover hoping no one sees you go in. If you see others inside you don't deliberately avoid eye contact for fear they will cum on you. No, this is clean, with normal well dressed people; people who will make their purchases and discretely get off later. Anyway back to their story...

So as I listen to the girls, they are telling me about how they went in to get one thing, which at this point totally escapes my mind. I honestly have no idea what it was... My one friend says we walked in and I looked up and all I saw was a wall of cock rings. Ok, so I am laughing hysterically at this point. As they are telling me about this I picture to young girls hand in hand staring at the big scary wall of cock rings in horror. I mean wide eyed, mouths open wanting to scream, but the sound won't come out. Again, why do I picture them like this, I'm not really sure but I do, and honestly it makes the whole conversation that much more funny for me. It was sort of like hearing about a friends' first sexual experience. It is kind of awkward, kind of scary, never exactly what you expect. That is exactly what this conversation was like.

So later that week, my Thursday night drink night partner in crime and cock ring bomb dropper went for drinks and continued the conversation. This led me to bring up a conversation I had had some time ago with my bestie from high school about cock rings. Apparently she highly recommends the BUZZY cock ring. I honestly don't know if that is what it is actually called or if that is what she named it because it buzzes, but apparently it is quite good for both partners. So as we talk about this and how cock rings can be useful, especially to those who have have short performances, I mention that cock rings are probably the last form of sex toy that I would experiment with. Now let have a short side bar here to tell my husband: I love you very much so get over having me talk about your penis and our sex life. Ok now that is done, I told her about how keeping it up or keeping it going is the least of our worries. In fact if I could find a way to make it shorter I would be all over that. I mean I love that I can always get 20 minutes of good sex and I do mean good sex, but seriously after a half an hour I start to loose interest. Now I am a very lucky and satisfied woman. My husband has always made sure to take care of me first, but I am just not programmed to go for hours. Yes, I said hours. My friend looked at me like I was crazy, and to be honest most of my friends do when we have this conversation. Yes my husband can go hours he has a horrible recovery time but her can go hours. But as we are talking, we agree hours are not happening. I mean we have things to do...It gets boring...and let's be honest, after a while it can hurt. I know I should stop complaining because I really do have it good. My husband loves me, he loves to have sex, the sex is good, he always makes sure I get off first, second, and third, and he has length and girth on his side, but seriously hours... I can't do it. So cock rings will never be our thing. But for everyone else apparently the buzzy cock ring is the one to try!