What makes a good make-out session? Is it the kiss, the touch, what comes next, or everything in between? A good make-out session can be as good and as sensual as a good night of sex, but what makes it good? How come some guys know what to do, others don't have a clue, and others still, no matter how hard you try never get it. Sassy Pineapple and I have been asking friends and a couple of tattoo artists what makes a good make-out?
First, and foremost you need to be confident. There is nothing worse than not having the confidence to go in for the kiss in the first place. Case in point, my wonderful husband and our first kiss. We were in college (one would think between hormones, alcohol, and irresponsible youth we would be golden, but that was not the case) and our first VERY awkward kiss took place when I moved to kiss him from behind (meaning I was sitting behind him and was leaning around to kiss him) and he was leaning back to kiss me. Needless to say it was a mess. We missed each others mouths, we were at an awkward angle, it was just bad. Thank God we finally got ourselves facing each other because once we were face to face it was on.
Let me be clear, when I want to be kissed I want one of the following types of kisses, and it is your responsibility to know what I want when I want it: A) Soft sensual make-out sessions full of passion and desire; or B) Hot and heavy slam me against a wall, or throw me on a bed and kiss me until I can't remember my name. What I don't want under any circumstances is my face to be slobbered upon... When I was in high school one of my high school boyfriend's bathed my face in slobber every time we kissed. GROSS! Despite gentle coaching, the slobber fest continued. During the course of our relationship I felt like I had a constant rash around my mouth. In reality my poor mouth was chapped from all of the slobber being rubbed around my face. I swear it was like kissing a basset hound. Now I am not so vain as to let this be the sole reason for our breakup, but honestly I wasn't missing the kissing when he was gone.
On this topic, when being kissed tongue is not a requirement; however when having a good make-out session it is. Lets be clear people, Drew Barrymore said it best in the movie The Wedding Singer "not porno tongue... church tongue." Please do not go stabbing your tongue in my mouth. Don't try to choke me with it. We are not remaking the make-out version of deep throat and I am not Lindsay Lohan. Tongue should be used gently, subtly, and it should build upon itself. Slow and tentative at first building to more frequent and more dominate.
As I said in the title, just because I want a good make-out does not mean I want to have sex. And while a good make out session can lead to sex it is not a guarantee. So here are a few guidelines for your hands. While I might want your tongue in my mouth and your hands roaming my body, making out is not an invitation to break open my pants a take your hands from a probe. Thank you, but when I want the little lady explored I will send you on an expedition, until then hands off. The best way to use you hands is a soft stroke on the face, gently cupping the face in your hands as you move in for the kiss. Brushing my hair out of my eyes or off my neck and trailing gentle kisses as you move the hair aside. Trail kisses down my jaw and back to my mouth. A gentle nibble (NEVER BITE) on the lip... my preference is the upper lip (but to each there own)and most sensual place to stimulate the mouth during kissing... just under the upper lip between the lip and the gum. If you can get a zing there you will have your girl hooked (well at least this girl and sassy pineapple).
The bottomline is the most important thing is talk to your partner. If you don't like something they are doing, tell them. If you want them to do something different tell them, and if you want them to do more of the same let them know. When I am talking about sex to my teenage clients I generally tell them if you can't talk about it you shouldn't be doing it. I guess the same is true. If you can't discuss how to have a great make-out session with your partner maybe he or she isn't the right partner. And if your playing the field, when you need a towel to wipe your face after a make-out session it is time to move on.
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